My brain on drugs

I'm sure everyone knows that I have cluster headaches by now- I'm not exactly quiet about it. Short explanation though- I get headaches that last for about 2 hours, and they're one of the most painful conditions you can have. The cause is unknown and they don't respond to medicine- at least mine don't anymore. I just had maybe my worst one yet today.... so I was inspired to write a little about it.

So what can I do when one of these terrible headaches strikes? Well usually I would take this nasty nasal spray medicine I have, then chug an energy drink (for the caffeine), then I thrash about in pain for about two hours. I've written about this exact experience before.In Japan this was all I could do.

But now we're in America- California. Now I can use marijuana. Unfortunately it doesn't actually help with the pain- nothing really helps that- but it does help in a different way. Let me explain.

When I'm having a headache I'm in a massive amount of pain- and that pain causes my body to just freak out. It makes my head a scrambled chaotic mess- which makes it difficult to focus on remaining calm. Here's a good representation:

As you can imagine, if you're trying to keep a strong mind and remain calm through physical torture, a scrambled mind like this can make that nearly impossible. However, when I'm able to smoke marijuana it does something amazing to my head- it takes all that chaos, all those scattered thoughts, and it brings them all together in a calm, orderly fashion. It takes that explosive chaos and turns it into this:

And you know whats even betters? When I add music it gives my newly quieted brain a direction to move in- like a flock of birds with a breeze to follow.

I can easily focus on the music and drown out some of the smaller pains. It gives me something pleasant to think about instead of focusing on exactly how much I wish I were unconscious. And if you're wondering about how it feels to be high and in pain- I actually don't really even get high when I'm in that much pain. The stress to my body seems to burn through the high super quick- just like how I chug a whole energy drink but the pain burns through it and by the end I pass out from exhaustion.

Well I hope it was interesting to get another angle on insight into my headaches and possibly satisfies some curiosity. Thanks for continuously listening to me blab about it.

K+K